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We see a few smart humanoids using valuable scraps of paper you call coupons. Those squares of paper can be used as real money to buy things like food at your local grocery stores. Cut those coupons out and use them. If you throw them away you are only proving to us aliens that your species is an army of DIDIOTS.
We even see humans who cut out those pieces of paper, go to the store and buy the product. Then they forget to use the valuable coupon. Is that you? If so, stop acting like a Didiot.
Instructions for coupons.
1. Find coupons. Every Wednesday, grab your local newspaper and pull out the thick coupon section. Search for coupons in your mail box (yes they are sometimes mailed right to you by snail mail or e-mail). You can find coupons for groceries, beauty products, restaurants, carpet cleaning, dentists, automobiles, laser hair removal, nearly anything your Earthling brain can imagine.
2. Find a pair of scissors. Find a friend and have a coupon clipping party. Make it fun. Turn on some music. Make it an every week event.
3. Most important. Cut out coupons only for items you are already planning to buy. Do not buy new products which you do not need, just because you found a coupon. Resist the temptation. Do not be a Didiot.
4. Ride your bicycle or walk to the grocery store. We suggest you ride a bicycle to the grocery store or walk, rather than drive your automobile for three reasons.
a. You will not buy too many items because you have to carry them home.
b. You will save money on gasoline.
c.
Walking or biking will keep you in better shape so you might find a
human love partner, if you are in need of one, while shopping at the
grocery store (see UFO Recession Tip 2 - Have More Sex).
5. NEVER go grocery shopping while your human stomach is hungry. This leads to spontaneous purchases. Make a list of necessary items and stick to it.
6. Whip out the coupons when you check out. Do not forget or you will have wasted all that precious time you spent searching for and cutting them out. You might put the coupons into your wallet next to your grocery store's "savings card" or clip onto your grocery list.
Use coupons. If you don't you are throwing away good American dollars.
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