Earthlings, fire your dry cleaning and laundry service during the recession. Surely, your mommy taught you how to wash clothes. We are amazed how many Earthlings do not know how to wash clothes correctly. And the machine does all the work. Earthlings are lazy. Sorry.
Helpful Hints: Wash colors separate from whites. Also, wash colors in cold water so they stay beautiful (especially if they are green like us). Big secret revealed: They actually put washing instructions right on your clothes.
On our travels, we could not help but notice that American Earthlings are 'clean freaks.' You wear your clothes once, then send them to the laundry. We looked into the Earthling legal books and found out that it is not against any laws to wear your jeans more than once before they are washed.
Save water and electricity. When you wash your clothes, do not do small loads. Instead wash large loads so that
you can save on energy. If you wash during off peak hours the electricity is cheaper.
Big Green Alien Tip: Do not put your clothes into an electric dryer. Go organic and let the wind do it for you by hanging them on a clothes line.
If it is time for you to buy a new washer, either delay the purchase until after the recession, or buy a used washer. No matter what, try to find an energy-efficient washer or dryer. We hear you can get good prices at Sears and Best Buy.
There are good brands to consider such as Kenmore, Maytag and Whirlpool. Make sure they are easy to use so that you do not need a Ph.D. to learn to operate them. The only thing we are not happy about these washers is that they do not also make cappuccino.
Warning Earthlings. Please do not wash your children in the washers. We have been told that is very dangerous for Earthling children. We had to learn the hard way when we washed Zorkey in the washer. Thank God we are aliens and we can survive extreme temperatures and pressure, otherwise, Earthling courts would have called us "unfit parents."
You can go to Sears.com or Bestbuy.com to compare washers and driers. Do not get sucked in by some cheesy, Earthling salesperson trying to sell you on whatever product they get the biggest commission.
You can dry clean your own clothing. Dry cleaning kits are available at you local grocery or discount stores. They are cheaper and easier to use than your local dry cleaner.
Happy washing, Earthlings.
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