UFO Recession Tip 33 - Learn to Sew

Earthlings, why buy fashion when you can be fashion? Make your own cool and original clothing. People will not know it is not some schmancy fancy brand, because during recession Earthlings are too busy trying to figure out how to pay their bills.

Your friends will never guess you sewed it yourself. If they ask where you got your cool new outfit, tell them it is some new hot designer from Italy. They will be impressed that you are a fashion guru. Make sure you make up a name you can remember in case they ask you again.

Tips for NEW SEWERS: 

1. Find a used sewing machine. Many humans have sewing machines they never use. Ask if you can borrow to save the most money. If that does not work, purchase a used machine. Check eBay, Craig's List or your local newspaper's classified section.

2. Find an older Earthling, or someone else, who knows how to sew. Ask them to teach you. They will  most likely be happy to share their knowledge. If you must, take a sewing class - check with your local community college or fabric store. If you do not have natural talent for sewing, you might save money in the long run by taking a class, so you do not waste time and money sewing unwearable clothing.

3. Sew something simple. Easiest designs include simple skirts, shorts and aprons (of course you always cook at home during recession). Purchase a sewing pattern from your local fabric store. The pattern comes in an envelope along with sewing directions. It tells you right on the envelope how easy or difficult the item is to sew. It will also tell you what you need to purchase to complete the item, such as button, zippers, and amount of fabric. Everything you need is right there in the same store. Amazing. Many Earthlings are able to follow the directions to make the item on their own.

Tips for EXPERIENCED SEWERS who want to save money during the recession:

1. Reuse old sewing patterns or buy sewing patterns at garage sales. New patterns cost $12 dollars and up.

2. Use your clothing for a pattern. Instead of buying a pattern, simply lay your clothing down flat on the fabric and cut around your clothes. Please take them off first. You can change the cut slightly as you go to create new designs. Fun! We aliens have found this to be the best system since you patterns do not fit our alien bodies.

3. The latest Earthling trend is to be green like us and RECYCLE old clothing by redesigning your old clothes into new designs. This can be as simple or as complicated as you like. Change a hemline or neckline, cut off the sleeves, add trim or sew up the side seems for a new tighter fit. You need to make all of your clothing smaller anyway due to your slimmer body due to walking so much during the recession.

Whatever you do, have fun sewing during the recession. Think of it as a new creative outlet for your brain.

Make it a party. If you are not embarrassed about sewing your own clothes, and we do not think you should be, then throw sewing parties at your dwelling. Teach each other new sewing tricks and discuss new fashion designs.

If you want to be a cool Earthling, look up some fashion magazines online right now to get inspired.

Comments

[Super Mike]

Look, T.J. Maxx can give me a fantastic button-down oxford shirt for $8 and great casual business slacks for $18. I really doubt that I can make one that good and for so cheap.

[Merlin Silk]

So, Dear Alien,

and when everybody does that - how we are supposed to sell out gorgeous tie-dye tops at www.ThaiDye.com - huh? - Tell me that!
And, by the way, I could imagine that your Mrs. Alien would love a nice tie-dye scarf you find here
http://www.thaidye.com/item/scarves

Sincerely,
Merlin (Earthling)

PS: and you highly advanced aliens should know that all the old philosophers on earth tell us that with our thoughts we actually create our world - what do you think you do, stressing the point that there is a recession - when there actually is none ;-))