It's the Recession, Didiot!

Recession Tip 75 - How to Eat Out Cheaply

Earthlings, for reasons we do not understand, you have a social need to get out among other humans to consume your meal. We do not understand the concept of restaurants. Why do Earthlings wish to have a complete stranger prepare a meal for them when you can do it at home?

From our human studies and observations, we learned that humans go to restaurants to feed so they may meet other humans. Also, many humans are just plain too lazy to move their fannies and make a meal. There seems to be some deep subconscious satisfaction in having another human serve your meal. This deep rooted need must come from the old ages where kings and queens were served and looked upon 24/7. Earthlings, no matter what you believe, your most likely do not have a family lineage from a king or queen. It is mathematically impossible for half of the planet to be descendant of royalty.

Recession Tip 74 - Wheatgrass: The Perfect Recession-proof Food

Earthlings, we have discovered a perfect food that costs almost nothing to grow yourself at home. It is a healthy power boost to the human body for energy and superior health. Drink this superfood to operate your body more effectively for longer period of time, save money on doctor's visits and be green like us.

This magic, green food goes by the simple name of WHEATGRASS. Here are 10 stellar reasons to thoroughly enjoy drinking this delightfully green nectar:

Reason 1: Wheatgrass is super healthy. Earthlings, there is no need to be a hypochondriac anymore. This green leafy, vegetable food contains 13 vitamins, several antioxidants and many minerals and enzymes. These nutrients are absorbed by the body in 20 minutes. Wheatgrass helps the human body overcome many types of illnesses so there is no need to imagine being sick again. If any Earthling complains about their health again, just feed them some wheat grass and tell them to stop wasting money on doctor visits.

Reason 2: Wheatgrass is low calorie. We do not understand why so many humans are overweight. This is not logical. Why be over weight when you can be healthy? Yes, many low cost foods are not healthy. However, wheatgrass contains only 10 to 15 calories per teaspoon, and no fat or cholesterol. This will enable you to keep your body lean and mean for those pleasurable physical activities.

Recession Tip 73 - Top 10 Blogger Recession Tips to Make Money

Earthling, blogging is a highly enjoyable way to pass the time until we figure out how to fix our saucy saucer for intergalactic travel. We are highly intelligent, super-smart beings and we are one million years more advanced than you... but we do not hold that against you. We love Earthlings! We are happy to help you by offering tips on how to survive your economic recession.

We are marooned on this beautiful planet thanks to Bubba from Stephenville, Texas shooting us down. Do not be frightened of us. We only want to help you not be a Didiot. Blogging is the most efficient way for us to communicate with as many humans as possible.  We also offer green tips on how to save you planet from Earthlings.

ItsthePlanetDidiot.com - Green tips to save planet Earth from Earthlings
ZorkPlanet.com - Intergalactic VIP Lounge for green social network.

Competition is stiff. There are over 112 million blogs listed on Technorati at the end of 2007!    We see you and we know that not every blogger is making money.

Google makes hordes of money from bloggers using Adsense. In order to set the injustice straight, we offer 10 Blogger Recession Tips to Make Money.

Blogger Money-Making Scheme 1 - Bill Collector: As you build your blogging empire, working day and night, consider supplementing your income by simultaneously working part time job as a bill collector. The bill collection industry is going gang busters because there are so many good humans behind with their bills.

If you are one of the millions of bloggers, you may be behind on your bills and have bill collectors calling you, demanding money. If you can't beat them, join them. You can be on the phone collecting and write your blog at the same time. Multi-task, my dear Earthling.

Blogger Money-Making Scheme 2 - Baby Sitter: It is easy to blog while babysitting young humans. Blog while they nap, teach the kids to drop EntreCards for you. You can blog about baby sitting while you blog. One full circle of blogging.

Blogger Money-Making Scheme 3 - Dog Sitter and/or Dog Walker: You can double the money by taking care of animals such as dogs as you babysit and blog. The kids can help with the pets. Take pictures of the pets and blog about them. We particularly love Holy Cuteness web site. Please visit it for some cute entertainment.

UFO Tip 71 - Frugal and Green Bath and Body

Earthling, there is no need to purchase expensive and unnatural bath and body products when your planet has provided everything you need for cheap.

Over millions of years, we managed to turn our bodies into green, beautiful, highly desirable, pleasurable temples. You can do the same, humans.

Your body is natural, so treat it with natural products. My wife, Meera and I searched the Earth in our saucy saucer and discovered the simplest, eco-friendly items to pamper your skin so you can stay beautiful and healthy, even during recession.

Top 6 Recession-Proof, Green-Friendly Skincare Products:

1. Avocado oil. We love avocados. They are green and a green product. The fatty acids soften your skin. Anti-oxidant vitamins A,C and E protect your skin from damage.

How to: Pour equal amounts of avocado and evening-primrose oil into a bottle and shake. Massage a few drops on your face and cover with a washcloth for a few moments.

(Photos from LoveCarrots)

2. Egg on Your Face Facial. Humans, for the first time, you can have egg on your face and enjoy it. Eggs are high in protein and can help make your skin beautiful.

How to 1: Beat one egg white until stiff. Mix in a teaspoon of bee's honey. Fluff it all over your face and relax for 30 minutes. Rinse it all off with cold water.

How to 2: Smooth raw egg white all over your face with a cotton ball. Relax as it dries for 30 minutes. Wash off with lukewarm, then cold water.