Recession Tip 74 - Wheatgrass: The Perfect Recession-proof Food

Earthlings, we have discovered a perfect food that costs almost nothing to grow yourself at home. It is a healthy power boost to the human body for energy and superior health. Drink this superfood to operate your body more effectively for longer period of time, save money on doctor's visits and be green like us.

This magic, green food goes by the simple name of WHEATGRASS. Here are 10 stellar reasons to thoroughly enjoy drinking this delightfully green nectar:

Reason 1: Wheatgrass is super healthy. Earthlings, there is no need to be a hypochondriac anymore. This green leafy, vegetable food contains 13 vitamins, several antioxidants and many minerals and enzymes. These nutrients are absorbed by the body in 20 minutes. Wheatgrass helps the human body overcome many types of illnesses so there is no need to imagine being sick again. If any Earthling complains about their health again, just feed them some wheat grass and tell them to stop wasting money on doctor visits.

Reason 2: Wheatgrass is low calorie. We do not understand why so many humans are overweight. This is not logical. Why be over weight when you can be healthy? Yes, many low cost foods are not healthy. However, wheatgrass contains only 10 to 15 calories per teaspoon, and no fat or cholesterol. This will enable you to keep your body lean and mean for those pleasurable physical activities.

Reason 3: Wheatgrass is cheap to grow at home. There is no need to grow marijuana at home anymore. Why grow illegal drugs that alter your brain power when you can grow wheatgrass to boost your brain power? In fact, you can grow wheatgrass anywhere! One tray of wheatgrass can give you 20 ounces of juice and costs only a few pennies. Do you know of any other drink that can do that for you? We think not.

Reason 4:  Be green, drink green. Earthlings, impress potential mates by drinking green. This will indicate to them that you care about your body, your health, and your planet - all at the same time. Wheatgrass absorbs 92 out of the known 102 minerals from the soil, and those go into your human body when you gulp down the delicious green juice!

Reason 5: Heal thyself. Wheatgrass helps the human body heal and prevents infection. This saves you money during recession because your body will have less "down time" from work, require fewer bandages and less medication.

Reason 6: Wheatgrass is non-allergenic. Even humans with wheat allergies may drink it because the young grass has not yet developed gluten.

Reason 7: Wheatgrass helps humans fight cancer. Need we say more?

Reason 8: Wheatgrass helps keep you regular. Earthlings, we can attest to this. Some of your food causes constipation to our beautiful green bodies, but drinking wheatgrass has helped. Spending a good portion of our time initially on the commode was not our idea of a good time on this planet.

Reason 9: Purify your body and soul. Wheatgrass helps the human body heal and Chlorophyll helps to purify your human liver.

Reason 10: Wheatgrass is good for sex. Earthlings, if this does not inspire you to drink wheatgrass on a daily basis, then we give up on the human race. Drinking wheatgrass helps boost sexual stamina in humans. The high magnesium content in chlorophyll builds enzymes that restore the sex hormones.

Your human farmers know a thing or two about wheatgrass. They give wheatgrass juice to bulls that become sterile. After a while, most bulls can return to their jobs. We do not understand why sterile humans do not try the same.

Costs of Making Your Own Wheatgrass Juice. Wheatgrass costs only a few pennies once you purchase your juicer. It is much cheaper to grow your own than to buy at the juice store. I calculated if all for your here:

Trays, watering can, jar, supplies $20
Potting Soil for one year $60
Wheatgrass Seeds for one year $54
($1.50/pound * 3 pounds/month)
Subtotal $74 per year

Total with a $89 Manual Juicer $163 per year (Check out this stainless steel model, it lasts forever and gives you a good workout.)
Total with a $200 Electric Juicer $274 per year

That comes to 44 to 75 cents per day of the first year, depending on how much you invest in your juicy juicer. After the first year your cost drops to about 20 cents per day!

Compare to what you would spend at your neighborhood juicer bar:
                    $1.50 per shot: $547 per year
                    $2.00 per shot: $730 per year

How to Drink Wheatgrass. For the greatest health benefits, drink it on an empty stomach so your body can absorb all of the wonderful nutrients. Do not mix with other juices. Wait 30 minutes before you eat again.

Be frugal, healthy and green like us. We toast you for drinking wheatgrass and guarantee you will become a more powerful sexual organism.

Get more Wheatgrass info at growgrass.blogspot.com and WheatGrassKits.com

Comments

[zork]

@BillyWarhol
We are glad, Earthling, that you are fond of wheat grass like us. I visited your website and found it amusing. Thank you for the compliment. We are hear to serve humans until we fix our saucy saucer for intergalactic travel. Meeree Eeree (goodbye)!

[zork]

@Earthling Amber,
Besides eating wheatgrass for breakfast this weekend, you have inspired me to listen to the Rolling Stones. I never realized that Earthlings could produce such melodic music, despite the fact that Keith Richards looks like he is 500 years old. I was quite inspired by "Gimme Shelter", "Monkeyman", "Start Me Up", "Emotional Rescue" and "Waiting on a Friend", "Wild Horses"... The best unknown Rolling Stones song is "Slave". Most Earthlings have not heard it. It is on the Tatoo You album. If you want to jam, and rock like the Stones, listen to that song. My wife Meera's favorite Stones song is "Under My Thumb".... the problem is she only has 3 fingers and 1 thumb. I have 2 fingers and 1 thumb. My next step is to play the guitar like Keith Richards.

[Billy Warhol]

But i like it like it yes i do!!

;PPP

Yer Toons + Tunez Rock*

Awesome Colourz*

;)) Peace*

[Amber]

Popeye eats spinach and gets super strong, like you and your super wheatgrass strength! :)

And you got it close enough to be right - The Rolling Stones are a good example of ROCK, which is indeed a compliment. Stop by and see your ad on my blog!

Keep up the good work!

[bbrian017]

Interesting topic1 I didn't know wheat grass was such an important food.

thanks for sharing these reason why humans should love wheat grass.

[zork]

Zork Says: Dear Earthling Amber, eeree meeree!

Thank you for your response. We do not know who Popeye is but we will take Popeye's word that wheatgrass works.

Our alien bodies are 10 times more powerful than your human vessels because millions of years ago, our planet was facing destruction and hunger and our species survived because we turned to wheatgrasss for our body fuel. That is one reason why our bodies are green and strong.

I am not rock. I am an alien. Thank you for calling me rock though. I assume it is an Earthling compliment. You rock too, Earthling Amber.

P.S. Please spread the word about Zork Planet and Zork Revolution. Our goal is to gather 1 million Earthlings to make the Zork Pledge and save the plenet.

P.S.S. Have you ever hard of the song "It's Only Rock'n Roll," by the Rolling Stones? Is this where humans originated the compliment you rock?

[Amber]

Awesome! I love wheatgrass - I tried it once while working as a barista at a coffee/juice bar. I made just a little too much, and instead of dumping out the excess, I shrugged, wrinkled my nose, and tried it!

It tastes like a freshly mowed lawn smells - but OH! The energy just coursed through my veins, just like Popeye and his spinach! It was wild. I've loved it since!

Way to go, Zork. You rock!