Earthling, there is no need to purchase expensive and unnatural bath and body products when your planet has provided everything you need for cheap.
Over millions of years, we managed to turn our bodies into green, beautiful, highly desirable, pleasurable temples. You can do the same, humans.
Your body is natural, so treat it with natural products. My wife, Meera and I searched the Earth in our saucy saucer and discovered the simplest, eco-friendly items to pamper your skin so you can stay beautiful and healthy, even during recession.
Top 6 Recession-Proof, Green-Friendly Skincare Products:
1. Avocado oil. We love avocados. They are green and a green product. The fatty acids soften your skin. Anti-oxidant vitamins A,C and E protect your skin from damage.
How to: Pour equal amounts of avocado and evening-primrose oil into a bottle and shake. Massage a few drops on your face and cover with a washcloth for a few moments.
(Photos from LoveCarrots)
2. Egg on Your Face Facial. Humans, for the first time, you can have egg on your face and enjoy it. Eggs are high in protein and can help make your skin beautiful.
How to 1: Beat one egg white until stiff. Mix in a teaspoon of bee's honey. Fluff it all over your face and relax for 30 minutes. Rinse it all off with cold water.
How to 2: Smooth raw egg white all over your face with a cotton ball. Relax as it dries for 30 minutes. Wash off with lukewarm, then cold water.
3. Milky Skin. The lactic acid is a stellar exfoliant, and the fat moisturizes your skin.
How to: Simply pour a gallon of whole milk into your bath and soak your human body. Enjoy.
4. Apple Cider Vinegar. It has amazing healing properties and keeps your skin soft. The high concentration of enzymes is a great exfoliator. Apple Cider Vinegar is the perfect recession-proof beauty product. It also makes your hair shiny (see Tip 72 Save Money, Stop Using Shampoo).
How to 1: Mix 2 or 3 cups of distilled water with 1/2 cup of raw, organic Apple Cider Vinegar. This stuff actually replaces cleanser, toner and moisturizer.
how to 2: Mix apple cider vinegar in your bath with Rosemary and Lavender essential oils. Invigorating.
5. Carrot Vita Mask. Earthlings, watch out for those carrots. They are highly pleasurable plants. In this case, you will use carrots not to eat but to put on your face. High in vitamin A and C, plus folic acid and potassium.
How to: Mash up 2 or 3 cooked carrots. Mix in 4 teaspoons of honey. Smear all over your face. Relax 10 minutes, then rinse with cool water.
6. Oatmeal. We love eating oatmeal for breakfast because it is healthy and cheap (See UFO Recession Tip 61: Recession-Proof Breakfasts ). Now you can eat it and use it to be green as well. Oatmeal sooths your skin and acts as an anti-inflammatory.
How to: Wrap a handful of oatmeal inside a washcloth. Secure with a rubber band. Dip the oats into a sink filled with warm water and squeeze. Dip and squeeze until the water becomes cloudy. Then splash the water in the sink all over your face. Let your face air dry.
7. Sugar Scrub. Our son Zorkey loves sugar. We cannot stop him from eating it. What we have seen so far, humans eat too much sugar. Why do Earthlings call each other 'sugar' all the time? It is not logical to us.
You can be green and healthy by using sugar on your face and body.
Sugar is a stellar exfoliator for your skin. After using sugar to clean
your face, your mate can call you sugar and be logical. Until then, if
your mate calls you sugar, please tell them you do no desire to be
thought of as white grains of sweet sand.
How to 1: Mix equal parts oats and brown sugar with a little water to make a smooth paste. Gently massage onto damp skin. Rinse with warm water.
How to 2: Smear olive oil all over your face with a cotton ball. Gently rub a little sugar over that to
exfoliate.
As long as you are relaxing as a natural beauty, meditate on herbs you can rub on food for dinner.
Be a recession-proof, green beauty!
Ta ke pleasure in our healthy green clean Eau de perfumes scents made fresh with good science
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Posted by: Perfumes | August 15, 2008 at 03:42 AM
Great article. How would you rate avocado oil versus sweet almond oil? I've been using the latter on my nails and they've gotten much stronger.
I've also smashed up a banana and used it as a face mask (15-20 minutes). It leaves your skin soft and smooth!
Posted by: Tip Diva | May 29, 2008 at 08:50 PM
As always - a humourous and informative article. Thanks for submitting it to our latest Beauty Carnival.
Posted by: Michelle | May 29, 2008 at 05:49 AM