Recession Tip 79 - Save Money: Stop Smoking

Earthling, a simple way to survive during the tough economic times is to stop smoking if you are a smoker.

We do not follow the logic of smoking. Do not get us wrong. We are not aliens with our noses in the air acting like we do no wrong, but smoking is a nasty Earthling habit.

Other Earthlings do not smoke. If smoking is so wonderful, why do we not see lions, dogs, cats, birds, horses and skunks smoke?

We tried to smoke a cigarette to experience what humans do and, to put it bluntly, we almost puked. Meera would not kiss me for an entire week. We found out that the only thing smoking is good for is the cigarette manufacturers and cigarette investors.

We do not mean to preach, but smoking is not cool for your lungs. We are not going to tell you that non-smokers live longer than the smokers. These are well-known, logical facts.

Humans smoke their wallets each time they smoke a cigarette.

Smoking cigarettes does not provide fuel for your human vessel. From just taking a few puffs, I know it does not even taste good. Once again, please do not think we are preaching. We do like to drink beer and red wine. Beer and wine are great human inventions, but we cannot say the same for cigarettes.

We have seen some humans smoke other, illegal plants to get 'high.' We do not know what getting 'high' means, but we can assure you that getting high will not enable humans to reach other planets, despite what some humans think.

The easiest way to save money is to quit smoking anything. We are befuddled. Humans complain about the high price of gas but disregard the high cost of cigarettes. If we were to compare the two, cigarettes at $4.49 are equivalent to 1 gallon of gas and they do not even get you from point A to point B.

If you smoke 1 pack per day you burn up $134.70 per month. Can you say DIDIOT?

Human, please do not let your peers or Hollywood make you believe having a cigarette in your mouth is going to make you sexy or cool. This is all Didiot-like behavior.

Be cool by throwing away your cigarette and saving yourself money. You be smokin’ all the way to the bank.

Comments

[jiminy kricket]

i mean no insult, but it is not at all obvious that smoking _even one cigarette_ worsens a life.

as an occasional smoker, i can honestly say that both the health concerns and the cost of the cigarettes themselves are worth the experience.

to advocate total abstinence from tobacco based on personal experience is a little narrow-minded.

not to mention that, as a smoker of non-tobacco drugs, there isn't even a debate--it's worth it.