Guido, the credit card collector, is back. If you have more than two credit cards, cut all up but the two with the lowest interest rates. Credit card companies are increasing interest rates even for human customers with good payment history in order to cover the losses of the bad-paying Earthlings.
If you are overloaded with debt during this recession, pick the cards you desire and cut the rest in half. Do not use them. Consolidate your debt if possible - through a bank, NOT through a 'Debt Consolidation' or Credit Repair Company (check with your Better Business Bureau for a long list of
horror stories). If that is not possible, look to flee the planet because Guido type bill collectors will be coming after you.
Actually, when Guido the Bill Collector starts calling
you every night during dinner, simply explain to him that he can't
harass you on the phone because it's not lawful. If he threatens you,
obtain his name and report him or get a big whistle and blow his ears
out. Guido is not allowed to call you at your place of human employment - even at your second job as a Starbucks barista.
We are not liars.. I mean lawyers
(ha ha), but we have heard from a reliable humanoid, that If you
default on a credit card, your record will be scarred for seven years
from the date of activity or payment
on that credit card. You might have to take that hit in order to
survive on this planet. Try to arrange some kind of payment schedule
with the credit card companies. If they don't want to work with you or
you are unable to pay, your only alternative is to stop paying as soon
as possible so your seven years are up as soon as possible. Your
Earthly laws change daily so do you research or consult a lawyer. Don't
believe Guido.
Make sure you pay with debit cards and watch your online balance closely every day. Banks are famous for making mistakes. During our last visit to Planet Earth, our credit card was wrongly charged with overdraft and finance fees.
DO NOT believe the Bank of America or Wachovia online account information. During one recent alien abduction we got one of their employees to admit that their software system is designed to confuse you into thinking you have more money than you actually have in your account, allowing you to charge that $4 dollar cappuccino and then get dinged with over draft charges and insufficient fund charges, on top of other transactions.
We have seen a $4 Starbucks cappuccino turn into a $160 cappuccino because Bank of America online account status did not account for all previous transactions, making us think we had more money than we did.
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