We do not understand why Earthlings use pieces of paper called 'money.' On our planet, there is no such thing as money, just love. But since we are stuck on this planet until you Earthlings help us get out of here by donating these Earthling dollars (or Euros, Yen, Bolivars...), we have a few recommendations for you to save dollars during the recession.
THE SIMPLEST WAY TO SAVE MONEY IS NOT TO SPEND IT. Yes. You may choose not to accept it, but as you say "A penny saved is a penny earned."
If you are an Earthling shopaholic, then simply restrain yourself from spending money during recession. We understand that your current president has the same problem of not being able to save money for the U.S.
From what we read in your own human-written newspapers, the U.S. is $9 trillion dollars in debt at this moment and on its way to $12 trillion within the next five years. Please
do not let your government and your wacky president be an example of how you should run your own dwelling's finances.
Shopping for more junk will not make you happy. Only love and sex can make you happy. When you have that urge to shop and spend, spend, spend, please include a note inside your wallet or purse with the picture of your earthling president, George W. Bush that says, "Shopping will not make me happy, only love."
We understand that your president, congress and the rest of the world depends on you to continue buying products in order to make the economies of the world spin.
Resist that spending urge, Earthlings. Buying more things will not make you happy.
When you exercise your budget, pay your savings account first and everything else last because you must save for a rainy day in case you are not successful in brown-nosing and lose your job. You must think to save every day.
Tell yourself every morning, "I'm a saver, I'm a saver" and you will stop being in financial peril.
If you want to make your savings go far, do not let Earthling financial wizards manage your money. You would be better off buying gold and storing it in your own safe. We are also trying to save Earthling dollars so that we can purchase the fuel for us to return to our home planet one day.
So, please, try to save every day but do not be stingy of making a little donation to us because it costs us to run our alien blog here, which we think has been of utmost importance to helping Earthlings survive the recession.
We are only here to help you.
See Help Zork, Meera and Drauk get home.
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