We do not understand the arrogance Earthlings portray in front of other Earthlings during social gatherings. We have seen humans swirl the wine glass, smell it, swirl it, smell it, swirl it, smell it, swirl it and take a tiny, itsy, bitty sip only to tell the waiter that the wine is acceptable and to pour for others. We do not understand what makes each human an expert, wine-tasting guru; but we do understand that the wine costs much more if you drink it a restaurant rather than in the comfort of you own residential unit.
During recession, drink the wine at home to save money. Another benefit, if you are with your mate, you have a better chance of having sex quickly if you drink the wine at home. Based on our alien calculations the odds are higher for you to have sex after drinking wine at home than after drinking wine at the restaurant (Tip 2- Sex is the Best Free Entertainment).
Besides paying double the price for wine (or other alcoholic beverages) at a restaurant, you also run the risk of getting a DWI and spending a night in jail, which would cost you
approximately $10,000 for first time offenders. Not a good thing during the recession. If you're put to jail, you also run the risk of having sex with "Bubba", which would not be most favorable for your pleasure experiences.
Wine price does not necessarily correlate with quality.
Although we do love Silver Oak, Cain 5, Duckhorn, Stag's Leap and
others, there are wines below twenty dollars that are very good 
for the soul and heart. Red wines are healthier than white wines.
Our favorite red wines under $10:
Pine and Post, Red Guitar, Five Rivers and Red Flyer, Ménage à Trois, Henry's Drive Pillar Box Red, Hacienda Pinot Noir, Smoking Loon Viognier, Echelon California Merlot.
Great wines under $15:
J. Lohr Cabernet, Ciacci Rosso di Montalcino, Cycles Gladiator Syrah, Rodney Strong, Domaine Ste Michelle, Francis Ford Coppola wines (yes,
the famous director of The Godfather! And we hear he's making more
money off his wine business than in Hollywood. A sad statement about
the "Hollywood Machine.")
Please add to our list by commenting below.
Listen to us aliens. Drink wine at home during the recession. Save money, save your human self from the expense of a DWI, save yourself from Bubba, and most important, allow you to have sex instantly with your partner if are in the same mood as you. Remember, you can not have sex in the restaurant. We understand that is against human law.
Haha, awesome blog! Finally someone...or something else sees the silliness of the human race aswell. ;]
Posted by: Amber | August 25, 2009 at 11:10 PM