It's the Recession, Didiot!

Recession Tip 11 - Sell Old Clothes on Ebay

We have noticed Earthlings are obsessed about the clothing they wear. We are sorry humans have not yet evolved past wearing clothing like we have. We do not recommend you buy new dresses, suits or pants until the recession is safely over.

Your old suit may contain memories of bad board meetings, boring weddings, or other things you replay in your humanoid brains every time you pull it out of the closet.

Your old suit can become a new suit full of hope and potential to another Earthling. Whip it out of your closet, take some photos and make it a STAR on the information superhighway at a place called eBay.

If you do not have much to sell, try selling your underwear. We hear that there are some weird humans out

UFO Recession Tip 9 - Bring Lunch to Work

Bring your Energy Refueling Packet (lunch) to work in a bag. And to save more, use a reusable lunch box! You will save money and be green (like me)!

During recession or depression times, taking your Earthling boss to lunch just is not going to cut it because your boss is too busy brown-nosing their own boss. Eat at the office, preferably while continuing to work, or better yet, eat during a company cost-saving committee meeting which you organized (big brownie points).

Bringing your lunch to work is cheaper than going out to a restaurant, saves gas and reduces pollution. If you are an intelligent being, you will bring a healthy sandwich.

Lunch box leads to company commitment leads to saving money leads to a healthier bod.

UFO Recession Tip 4 - Drink Tap Water, Didiot

Unless you've been living under a ROCK... Wait, we aliens live under rocks... you've heard that your American city-flavored tap water is just as healthy to drink as bottled water. Save money and drink tap water! Now! Today! You are free to filter it if you must.

Stop wasting your money on useless plastic bottles which only destroy your planet's delicate ecosystem. Do you think plastic bottles are a status symbol? Plastic bottles are a DIDIOT SYMBOL.

We, UFO Recession Aliens, convinced your city of SAN FRANCISCO in your state of California to BAN ALL PLASTIC WATER BOTTLES. Read the news!

This is not just for the recession / depression, but for EVER! Stop filling up your landfills and ruining your planet with plastic bottles. We command you now! Sorry if you think we are rude.

Plastic bottles are destroying your planet! From the gasoline wasted transporting them across your land, to the pollution caused by the big trucks carrying them, to the mountains of empty plastic bottles in your landfills.

If you buy one more plastic bottle of water, we will know you are a DIDIOT.

More tips:

Tip 84: Zork's Frugal Party Ideas

 Tip 3 - Forget the Car, Ride a Bike

UFO Recession Tip 3 - Forget the Car, Ride a Bike

The price of a gallon of gas in America on planet Earth is hovering at the high $3's, get yourself a bike and ride it like Lance Armstrong. There is no hybrid automobile that can compete against a bicycle. If you do not own a bicycle, check out your pawn shops. We hear they have some good, high quality bikes at good prices.

The rest of the planet Earth rides bikes. If you do not think riding a bike is cool, it gets really cool as you ride past the gas pump.

If you are trying to impress a male or female Earthling, ask them to go on a bike date. If they are smart they will be