It's the Recession, Didiot!

UFO Recession Tip 82 - Meditate Your Way through the Recession

Earthling, throughout the one million years we have evolved beyond humans we discovered the cheapest form of entertainment available to any species in the galaxy.

When you need to be entertained but do not have the monetary means to go to a theater, concert, restaurant, bar, dance club, or you just have not found that special person to share the joy of having sex, then entertain yourself with meditation.

UFO Recession Tip 41 - Play in Park for Free

Head to a park for cheap, fun and healthy human family entertainment. There is nothing like fresh air and exercise to tire the little ones out and make them smile. There is so much to do there. We were quite surprised the parks were not more full of humans.
Parks are FREE!! Yes, we could not believe it either. There are swings and slides. Our favorite is monkey bars.

Here’s a great, cheap park entertainment schedule:
1. Make sure the sun is brightly shining. Cost = $0.0
2. Bring water bottles with you. Cost = $0.0 (See Tip 4 Drink Tap Water, Didiot)
3. Make sure you have water in the water bottles. Cost = $0.0
4. Bring munchies, apples, banana, whatever with you. Cost - $5.00
5. Bring a blanket. Cost = $0.0
6. Bring your walking shoes. Cost =$0.0
7. Bring a soccer ball. Cost = $0.0 (if you already have one.) If you don’t have a soccer ball, go to a park where Latinos go. They will have a soccer ball and they might let you play too. 

Recession Tip 22 - Play a Low-Cost Sport

During the recession, Earthlings, think twice about what sport you want your children to play as well as yourself.

Golf is an expensive game. The equipment is costly and you have to drive to the gold course, pay the fee and then drive around in a little vehicle which doesn't cause you to sweat, which doesn't really make you lose weight or keep you fit. Forget about snow-skiing or scuba diving!

Baseball is cheaper but you still have to have a glove, and if playing on the baseball team, you have to shell out money on your uniform.

Football is cheap only if you play it in your neighborhood, but if your kids play in school, then all kinds of costs come into the picture. As a parent, you are also forced to donate money to the football team via all kinds of Didiot-ass, money raising activities where they force you to purchase things you do not want.