It's the Recession, Didiot!

Recession Tip 61 - Recession-Proof Breakfast

Breakfast is an important meal to get Earthling's metabolisms and brains humming in the morning. It is the cheapest meal of the day, so take advantage of the savings during recession by eating a cheap breakfast.

Please do not skip breakfast or you will be so hungry at lunch you might easily overspend and overeat. As you humans say "Your eyes will be bigger than you stomach."

A cheaper breakfast is usually a healthy breakfast. Meera and I have observed humans consuming breakfast and prepared a list of the cheapest breakfasts meals on Earth.

Oatmeal. The best recession-time breakfast. It is healthy and cheap, and if you add fruit, you get a super-healthy and energizing meal. Healthy eating is essential during recession, in order to keep medical bills down. A healthy breakfast gives you a healthy body which means more opportunity for more sex, which is the best free entertainment on your planet (See Recession Tip 2: Have More Sex).

Cereal. Your grocery stores offer a spectacular selection of healthy cereals. Pick out a natural cereal made of whole

UFO Recession Tip 60 - Go Vegetarian

Earthlings, you are such carnivores. It is disgusting to us aliens.

Recession is a perfect opportunity for you to become healthy and green by becoming more of a vegetarian. Meat will be more expensive during tough times. We understand some of you Earthlings will sneak off and be a carnivore once in a while, but try to resist. For your wallet as well as your health, eat less meat and more fruit, grains and especially vegetables.

TURN TO THE GREEN SIDE! Raw veggies and fruit are most healthful and most green.

Eating raw cuts down on your energy bills, because you aren’t cooking. It cuts down on your grocery bill, because there are no other ingredients necessary.

Eat local to be the most eco-friendly. Even better, eat from your own garden (See Recession Tip #14 Plant a Garden). Growing your own veggies and fruits is the most rewarding, cheapest, safest and most green. If you grow your own, you will be certain your food is organically grown.

UFO Recession Tip 53 - Dine on Leftovers

Earthlings, do not throw away your leftovers. As we fly around at night in our saucy saucer, we see many Earthlings throw away left over food after eating dinner. We do not understand this human custom. We have pondered many nights, late into the night, why humans do not take their leftovers and make a meal from them.

When preparing leftovers it is important to give it a good presentation. We observed one Earthling woman, many years of age, who can make a five-star meal from leftovers. However most humans seem to have something inside their brains which does not like to accept leftovers.

Earthlings need to think of leftovers differently. Do you remember when used cars used to be called "Used Cars"? Sales humans got smart and started calling them "Pre-Owned Cars." It made a universe of difference in the way "Used Cars" were perceived in the human brain.

Earthlings, we have a new name for leftovers: Love Food
The Earthling making the food can reheat the Love Food, present it in a nice bowl and make other humans believe it is newly-cooked and that the cook slaved over the stove, cooking

UFO Recession Tip 40 - Split a Meal at Restaurants

Split your meal with your sweetie when you eat out. Earthling, you have to stop eating so much. We are amazed at how large the meals are when we go out in the public to eat. To survive the recession, you are going to have to start cutting down on everything. That includes your meals at a restaurant or at home.

We are not asking you to become thin like some of your Hollywood stars. We encourage you to stay at home to save money (See our Couple Tips), but when you dine at a restaurant, please share the meal with your mate.

If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, simply tell the waitperson that you are on a diet and will share a meal. Be sure they don’t bring you an extra plate and charge an extra