It's the Recession, Didiot!

UFO Recession Tip 13 - Drink Wine at Home

We do not understand the arrogance Earthlings portray in front of other Earthlings during social gatherings. We have seen humans swirl the wine glass, smell it, swirl it, smell it, swirl it, smell it, swirl it and take a tiny, itsy, bitty sip only to tell the waiter that the wine is acceptable and to pour for others. We do not understand what makes each human an expert, wine-tasting guru; but we do understand that the wine costs much more if you drink it a restaurant rather than in the comfort of you own residential unit.

During recession, drink the wine at home to save money. Another benefit, if you are with your mate, you have a better chance of having sex quickly if you drink the wine at home. Based on our alien calculations the odds are higher for you to have sex after drinking wine at home than after drinking wine at the restaurant (Tip 2- Sex is the Best Free Entertainment).

Besides paying double the price for wine (or other alcoholic beverages) at a restaurant, you also run the risk of getting a DWI and spending a night in jail, which would cost you

UFO Recession Tip 12 - Share a Cell Phone

We see that Earthlings love to talk on cell phones. This can be a huge money drain during recession times. We do not understand this phenomenon because we have the option of using our brain waves to do the same thing your cell phones do for you.

We don't understand why humans use text messaging because on our planet, the males have only three fingers and females have four, so that would be a huge problem for us. We evolved to communicate to each other through high frequency brain waves, most likely because we could not advance our text messaging abilities like you humans.

Our preferred form of communication is voice, like you. During recession, save money by sharing one cell phone. No matter what the cell phone company tells you, and

Zork's Recession Tip 2 - Have More Sex

The cheapest and best entertainment on the planet is sex. Nothing can compete. If you have a spousal unit or have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and cannot figure out what to do on a Friday night because you are tight on money, you should plan to have sex.

Sex is good for the budget during a recession. It is more interactive than video games, more entertaining than going to a theater and dinner, highly physical (so you can burn calories

UFO Recession Tip 87: Viva Las Frugal

Earthlings, what happens in this article, stays in this article.

Wherever we land on your planet we see worried humans. They are not yet depressed, but they are recessed. Yes, it is recession all over the planet and all Earthlings must watch how they spend their money.

Recession is making the Earth greener! We do not like seeing so many humans financially suffering right now, but the global recession is making your planet greener – whether Bubba admits it or not. When humans spend less money, then all the activities in making the product or service are not necessary, so less of the planet’s resources are being used up.

Why do humans spend so much money on so much crap? At the end of the day, you cannot take those things with you when you die. What you can take with you is your life experiences. So, human, if you do have some savings left and want to have an experience of your life, then may we suggest Viva Las Vegas? We have been to millions of planets across the galaxy but there is no place like Las Vegas.

Viva Las Frugal, Baby! You can still be frugal and go there. In fact, with the suggestions we offer, you can be Viva Las Frugal!

Unemployment in Las Vegas hit 7.9% in November and the county's foreclosure rate is one of the nation’s highest. Why do Earthlings call Vegas 'Sin City?' Apparently the luck has gone sour. Sin City bad luck is good luck for frugal Earthling vacationers.

1. Hotels are Cheap.
Viva Las Vegas has 141,000 hotel rooms and occupancy rates have dropped by 15%.

Trump Tower $99 a night
Wynn Las Vegas under $200 a night
El Cortez just $14 a night (Insane!)