It's the Recession, Didiot!

UFO Recession Tip 84: Zork's Frugal Party Ideas

Earthling, your beautiful blue planet has been struck by recession. We see humans drowning their sorrows of financial distress with increased purchases of alcoholic beverages.

When the going gets tough, well... throw a party! Parties are sure to help you feel better. A party may even help you find a new job, new love, a new get-rich-quick scheme or start a new business. YouTUBE was conceived at a party. We do not know how you conceive such a thing but we do understand a baby doctor was not required.

Money is tight right now. Getting a personal loan from the bank to throw a bash is difficult. Do not despair, human. Simply throw a bash on a budget with our favorite recession party tips. Please be green like us as you party the night away.

1. DBTK: Don't be a tree killer! Use FREE Invites.
Why send paper invitations when you can save money and trees? Do not be a Party Didiot! Use evites or invite guests through facebook, myspace or Zork Planet.

2. LCAP: Lights! Camera! Action! Party!

Do not waste dollars on new party lights when you likely have some in your closet already. Light up any party with strings of Christmas lights. Use multi-colored lights for New Year's Eve, red for any party, green for Saint Patty's Day, and white for weddings or anniversary parties.

UFO Recession Tip 87: Viva Las Frugal

Earthlings, what happens in this article, stays in this article.

Wherever we land on your planet we see worried humans. They are not yet depressed, but they are recessed. Yes, it is recession all over the planet and all Earthlings must watch how they spend their money.

Recession is making the Earth greener! We do not like seeing so many humans financially suffering right now, but the global recession is making your planet greener – whether Bubba admits it or not. When humans spend less money, then all the activities in making the product or service are not necessary, so less of the planet’s resources are being used up.

Why do humans spend so much money on so much crap? At the end of the day, you cannot take those things with you when you die. What you can take with you is your life experiences. So, human, if you do have some savings left and want to have an experience of your life, then may we suggest Viva Las Vegas? We have been to millions of planets across the galaxy but there is no place like Las Vegas.

Viva Las Frugal, Baby! You can still be frugal and go there. In fact, with the suggestions we offer, you can be Viva Las Frugal!

Unemployment in Las Vegas hit 7.9% in November and the county's foreclosure rate is one of the nation’s highest. Why do Earthlings call Vegas 'Sin City?' Apparently the luck has gone sour. Sin City bad luck is good luck for frugal Earthling vacationers.

1. Hotels are Cheap.
Viva Las Vegas has 141,000 hotel rooms and occupancy rates have dropped by 15%.

Trump Tower $99 a night
Wynn Las Vegas under $200 a night
El Cortez just $14 a night (Insane!)

UFO Recession Tip 83 - Be a Turtle Buyer

Earthling, we love turtles. They are cute, and much can be learned from observing them. Some of them live for a long time.

Turtles are slow, and many humans make fun of them for that. We heard the story of the “Turtle and the Hare.” The moral of that story applies to what your human financial gurus call “personal finance.”

No need to watch Susie Orr on Earth’s CNBC television network for sound financial advice. Personal finance is simple. We are a highly intelligent species (sorry to remind you of this once again), and we have the most revolutionary way for you to become financially sound-proof during this tough economic environment.

The secret we are about to give you will revolutionize your ability to make money, save money and live a happy and rich life. This secret is so profound it will change your forever. The secret has been confirmed by successful men and women of all ages, races and cultures.

UFO Recession Tip 78 – Recession-Proof Father’s Day

Earthling, today is a special day. It is Father’s Day. The only problem is that my father, who is more than one million years old, is in a galaxy far, far away. Thanks to Bubba who shot us down in Stephenville, Texas, and damaged our intergalactic energy power booster, this Father’s Day is going to be fatherless for me.

Meera and Zorkey are preparing something special for me for Father’s Day but I warned them not to spend too much money since we need to pay back the loan to the pawn shop owner for Meera’s ring (See Recession Tip 77 - Why We Love Pawn Shops ) and blog our way to having enough cash to fix our intergalactic power booster.

Earthling, Father’s Day is not about giving your father a gift. It is about showing your appreciation to him for being your father. Due to the current economic conditions we have some suggestions.

5 Recession-Proof Tips for Father’s Day:

Tip 1: Do not give your father a greeting card. It is made of paper which was made by killing a beautiful tree? Do not be a Didiot by spending money on gas to drive to the store to buy a paper greeting card. For human’s sake, why not offer to mow your father’s yard for the entire month if he lives close to you? I do not know of any father no matter what galaxy or planet that would not appreciate this.

Tip 2: Why take your father to a fancy restaurant when you can take the entire family to the park and prepare a delicious meal for him there? If you are low on cash, have a baseball cookout. Simply play a game of baseball and eat hot dogs afterwards for lunch. If you do not like baseball but prefer futebol (soccer for American Earthlings), you could still have a hot dog cook out. There is no rule anywhere where you cannot have hot dogs and play futebol.