It's the Recession, Didiot!

Recession Tip 75 - How to Eat Out Cheaply

Earthlings, for reasons we do not understand, you have a social need to get out among other humans to consume your meal. We do not understand the concept of restaurants. Why do Earthlings wish to have a complete stranger prepare a meal for them when you can do it at home?

From our human studies and observations, we learned that humans go to restaurants to feed so they may meet other humans. Also, many humans are just plain too lazy to move their fannies and make a meal. There seems to be some deep subconscious satisfaction in having another human serve your meal. This deep rooted need must come from the old ages where kings and queens were served and looked upon 24/7. Earthlings, no matter what you believe, your most likely do not have a family lineage from a king or queen. It is mathematically impossible for half of the planet to be descendant of royalty.

Recession Tip 67 - Top 10 Recession-Proof Activities to Enjoy with Your Kids

Earthlings, have fun with your kids during the economic recession. Your children are smart. Children do not go to war. Children are not prejudiced. Our observations show that it is when children become adults, everything goes to hell and they become Didiots.

Your children know when there is a recession. They notice fewer theater and restaurant visits. They notice the lack of new toys. They see you tearing your hair out while paying bills. They are not Didiots like many adults. They do not listen to financial analysts on CNBC and CNN telling the public everything is okay.

Earthlings, children do not need money as adults do. They can live happily through the economic recession. Let them be children. There are many free or nearly free things you can do with your children.

Recession Tip 61 - Recession-Proof Breakfast

Breakfast is an important meal to get Earthling's metabolisms and brains humming in the morning. It is the cheapest meal of the day, so take advantage of the savings during recession by eating a cheap breakfast.

Please do not skip breakfast or you will be so hungry at lunch you might easily overspend and overeat. As you humans say "Your eyes will be bigger than you stomach."

A cheaper breakfast is usually a healthy breakfast. Meera and I have observed humans consuming breakfast and prepared a list of the cheapest breakfasts meals on Earth.

Oatmeal. The best recession-time breakfast. It is healthy and cheap, and if you add fruit, you get a super-healthy and energizing meal. Healthy eating is essential during recession, in order to keep medical bills down. A healthy breakfast gives you a healthy body which means more opportunity for more sex, which is the best free entertainment on your planet (See Recession Tip 2: Have More Sex).

Cereal. Your grocery stores offer a spectacular selection of healthy cereals. Pick out a natural cereal made of whole

UFO Recession Tip 57 - Read Books for Free at the Library

Earthlings, during economic recession, libraries are a good getaway for enjoyment and information. The only negative is if you must drive to the library because the gas is so expensive. We hope you are smart enough to walk there or ride a bike. If not, then once you get there, read as much as you can.

One of the wonderful things about libraries is that you can read in a relatively quiet atmosphere. You do not have to worry about disrespectful Earthling teenagers causing noise pollution like they do if you went into a theater (which costs money). And you will not be guilt-tripped in buying a $5 cappuccino plus tip, as at your local Starbucks.

Libraries have a plethora of information for your perusal. You can even surf the Earthling digital highway for free (unlike you local Starbucks) but make sure you are not visiting porn sites. We made that mistake once