It's the Recession, Didiot!

Recession Tip 8 - Cut Up Your Credit Cards

Guido, the credit card collector, is back. If you have more than two credit cards, cut all up but the two with the lowest interest rates. Credit card companies are increasing interest rates even for human customers with good payment history in order to cover the losses of the bad-paying Earthlings.

If you are overloaded with debt during this recession, pick the cards you desire and cut the rest in half. Do not use them. Consolidate your debt if possible - through a bank, NOT through a 'Debt Consolidation' or Credit Repair Company (check with your Better Business Bureau for a long list of

UFO Recession Tip 9 - Bring Lunch to Work

Bring your Energy Refueling Packet (lunch) to work in a bag. And to save more, use a reusable lunch box! You will save money and be green (like me)!

During recession or depression times, taking your Earthling boss to lunch just is not going to cut it because your boss is too busy brown-nosing their own boss. Eat at the office, preferably while continuing to work, or better yet, eat during a company cost-saving committee meeting which you organized (big brownie points).

Bringing your lunch to work is cheaper than going out to a restaurant, saves gas and reduces pollution. If you are an intelligent being, you will bring a healthy sandwich.

Lunch box leads to company commitment leads to saving money leads to a healthier bod.

Recession Tip 7 - Do Your Own Nails

Seriously, if female Earthlings must paint their fingernails colors to attract human males, then they can save a lot of money painting their nails at home during the recession.

It might be fun to paint each other nails. Or, to be green like us, they can go without nail polish or at least use some of the new "organic" nail polishes. Search for "Organic nail polish" from this page for the most current ones available.

Skip fake, acrylic nails during the recession. They are an expense any organism can do without. Think about how silly it is to have them in the first place.

Recession Tip 6 - Get a 2nd Job

If you cannot control your budget or you are in major debt, but you cannot get a raise at your current Earthling job, get a second job. The best place to start is Starbucks because their time schedule is flexible and they have good health benefits, even for part-time humans. They also pay fairly.

It is also a great way to reduce your Starbucks expenses since you will be able to drink coffee for free and those cappuccinos and lattes add up at over $4 per drink. You might even be able to meet a new love there if you are single, which will enable you to have free entertainment (Please see UFO Recession Tip #2 - Have more Sex), which enable you to cut down on going to theater or bars. You will also get Starbucks employee discounts, enabling you to take your new girlfriend to Starbucks for a Starbucks date.

Starbucks is taking over the Earth so job security as a part-time barista looks promising. We hear that our planet has been having secret talks with Howard Shulz (Founder and CEO of Starbucks) to expand Starbucks stores into our galaxy, which might enable you to travel the Universe as a Starbucks barista.

So make sure that if you work at Starbucks as a barista that you learn your craft well because you never know when you will be called upon for that galactic expansion of stores.