It's the Recession, Didiot!

UFO Recession Tip 10 - Be a Brown-Noser (Part 1)

Hang on to your job at all costs! Suck up to higher authority! It's the Recession, Didiot.

Recession times take drastic measures. No job is safe. Do you understand? Make a strategy to insure your job is safe from downsizing or layoffs, and hang on tight! It is only going to get worse. The bottom line is that besides knowing your sh*%, you also need to become a MAJOR BROWN-NOSER. 

Even aliens know about SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST. When the going gets tough and layoffs start going down, your boss is going to choose either you or some drone next to you. I hope it is NOT you. If it is going to be you, then make sure you follow these Brown Nosing Tips:

Brown Nosing Tip 1: COMPLIMENT your boss, sincerely, of course. Tell them you like the clothing they wear. Even better, compliment them on their massive brain power. Make sure they know you think he/she is a genius.

Recession Tip 8 - Cut Up Your Credit Cards

Guido, the credit card collector, is back. If you have more than two credit cards, cut all up but the two with the lowest interest rates. Credit card companies are increasing interest rates even for human customers with good payment history in order to cover the losses of the bad-paying Earthlings.

If you are overloaded with debt during this recession, pick the cards you desire and cut the rest in half. Do not use them. Consolidate your debt if possible - through a bank, NOT through a 'Debt Consolidation' or Credit Repair Company (check with your Better Business Bureau for a long list of

UFO Recession Tip 9 - Bring Lunch to Work

Bring your Energy Refueling Packet (lunch) to work in a bag. And to save more, use a reusable lunch box! You will save money and be green (like me)!

During recession or depression times, taking your Earthling boss to lunch just is not going to cut it because your boss is too busy brown-nosing their own boss. Eat at the office, preferably while continuing to work, or better yet, eat during a company cost-saving committee meeting which you organized (big brownie points).

Bringing your lunch to work is cheaper than going out to a restaurant, saves gas and reduces pollution. If you are an intelligent being, you will bring a healthy sandwich.

Lunch box leads to company commitment leads to saving money leads to a healthier bod.

Recession Tip 7 - Do Your Own Nails

Seriously, if female Earthlings must paint their fingernails colors to attract human males, then they can save a lot of money painting their nails at home during the recession.

It might be fun to paint each other nails. Or, to be green like us, they can go without nail polish or at least use some of the new "organic" nail polishes. Search for "Organic nail polish" from this page for the most current ones available.

Skip fake, acrylic nails during the recession. They are an expense any organism can do without. Think about how silly it is to have them in the first place.