It's the Recession, Didiot!

Recession Tip 21 - Be Your Own Mechanic

We feel for you Earthlings. Your transportation technology is so backwards. We had to go back a million years into our information machines to find out how to drive and keep your transportation machines, you call automobiles, tuned.

If you want to save money during the American recession, it is not hard for any Earthling to learn to change the oil or air filter. You will save at least 50% of the money spent at a garage or one of the oil change chains. Yes, you might get your hands dirty but it sure beats being broke.

If you are not able to change oil for whatever Earthling reason, then make sure you find a mate who is capable of fixing automobiles. You can offer to have more sex with your loved one if they change

Recession Tip 14 - Plant a Garden

During recession, it is best to get a green thumb. We already have green thumbs so for us it is not a problem. But humans, having evolved to live in the cities, have become clueless about growing vegetables in their back yards.

Any human can plant a garden if they try. It is in your genetic DNA to plant gardens.

Follow this human logic:
Oil is converted into gasoline
===> gasoline is poured into funny-looking, moving storage tanks which burn gas and emit toxic gases out of their rear
===>These toxic gases cause the Earth's weather to exhibit weird patterns such as too much heat, snow, rain or too many hurricanes or too much frost
===>weird weather ruins crops and drives up prices which are already skyrocketing due to high cost of gasoline due to high cost of oil

It is not hard to plant a tomato, potato, onion, squash, lettuce, cabbage, pumpkins, chives,

UFO Recession Tip 12 - Share a Cell Phone

We see that Earthlings love to talk on cell phones. This can be a huge money drain during recession times. We do not understand this phenomenon because we have the option of using our brain waves to do the same thing your cell phones do for you.

We don't understand why humans use text messaging because on our planet, the males have only three fingers and females have four, so that would be a huge problem for us. We evolved to communicate to each other through high frequency brain waves, most likely because we could not advance our text messaging abilities like you humans.

Our preferred form of communication is voice, like you. During recession, save money by sharing one cell phone. No matter what the cell phone company tells you, and

UFO Recession Tip 62 - The Great Popcorn Rip-off

Earthlings, we have discovered many humans are being ripped off every single day by popcorn conglomerates.

When you purchase pre-packaged microwave popcorn your paying for the cardboard box, cellophane wrapping and the paper bag of popcorn packed with unnecessary and unhealthy chemicals and fat. We think your really want only the popcorn.

Popcorn is a healthy snack! Do not ruin it by eating pre-packaged microwave popcorn with 10 extra chemical ingredients.

Pre-packaged microwave popcorn is fattening, unhealthy, ungreen and expensive. The only ingredient is the popcorn. Stop being Didiots! Do not throw your money away on silly willy fancy popcorn, especially during recession!