It's the Recession, Didiot!

UFO Recession Tip 12 - Share a Cell Phone

We see that Earthlings love to talk on cell phones. This can be a huge money drain during recession times. We do not understand this phenomenon because we have the option of using our brain waves to do the same thing your cell phones do for you.

We don't understand why humans use text messaging because on our planet, the males have only three fingers and females have four, so that would be a huge problem for us. We evolved to communicate to each other through high frequency brain waves, most likely because we could not advance our text messaging abilities like you humans.

Our preferred form of communication is voice, like you. During recession, save money by sharing one cell phone. No matter what the cell phone company tells you, and

UFO Recession Tip 62 - The Great Popcorn Rip-off

Earthlings, we have discovered many humans are being ripped off every single day by popcorn conglomerates.

When you purchase pre-packaged microwave popcorn your paying for the cardboard box, cellophane wrapping and the paper bag of popcorn packed with unnecessary and unhealthy chemicals and fat. We think your really want only the popcorn.

Popcorn is a healthy snack! Do not ruin it by eating pre-packaged microwave popcorn with 10 extra chemical ingredients.

Pre-packaged microwave popcorn is fattening, unhealthy, ungreen and expensive. The only ingredient is the popcorn. Stop being Didiots! Do not throw your money away on silly willy fancy popcorn, especially during recession!

UFO Recession Tip 79 - Save Money: Stop Smoking

Earthling, a simple way to survive during the tough economic times is to stop smoking if you are a smoker.

We do not follow the logic of smoking. Do not get us wrong. We are not aliens with our noses in the air acting like we do no wrong, but smoking is a nasty Earthling habit.

Other Earthlings do not smoke. If smoking is so wonderful, why do we not see lions, dogs, cats, birds, horses and skunks smoke?

We tried to smoke a cigarette to experience what humans do and, to put it bluntly, we almost puked. Meera would not kiss me for an entire week. We found out that the only thing smoking is good for is the cigarette manufacturers and cigarette investors.

UFO Recession Tip 87: Viva Las Frugal

Earthlings, what happens in this article, stays in this article.

Wherever we land on your planet we see worried humans. They are not yet depressed, but they are recessed. Yes, it is recession all over the planet and all Earthlings must watch how they spend their money.

Recession is making the Earth greener! We do not like seeing so many humans financially suffering right now, but the global recession is making your planet greener – whether Bubba admits it or not. When humans spend less money, then all the activities in making the product or service are not necessary, so less of the planet’s resources are being used up.

Why do humans spend so much money on so much crap? At the end of the day, you cannot take those things with you when you die. What you can take with you is your life experiences. So, human, if you do have some savings left and want to have an experience of your life, then may we suggest Viva Las Vegas? We have been to millions of planets across the galaxy but there is no place like Las Vegas.

Viva Las Frugal, Baby! You can still be frugal and go there. In fact, with the suggestions we offer, you can be Viva Las Frugal!

Unemployment in Las Vegas hit 7.9% in November and the county's foreclosure rate is one of the nation’s highest. Why do Earthlings call Vegas 'Sin City?' Apparently the luck has gone sour. Sin City bad luck is good luck for frugal Earthling vacationers.

1. Hotels are Cheap.
Viva Las Vegas has 141,000 hotel rooms and occupancy rates have dropped by 15%.

Trump Tower $99 a night
Wynn Las Vegas under $200 a night
El Cortez just $14 a night (Insane!)