It's the Recession, Didiot!

UFO Recession Tip 10 - Be a Brown-Noser (Part 1)

Hang on to your job at all costs! Suck up to higher authority! It's the Recession, Didiot.

Recession times take drastic measures. No job is safe. Do you understand? Make a strategy to insure your job is safe from downsizing or layoffs, and hang on tight! It is only going to get worse. The bottom line is that besides knowing your sh*%, you also need to become a MAJOR BROWN-NOSER. 

Even aliens know about SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST. When the going gets tough and layoffs start going down, your boss is going to choose either you or some drone next to you. I hope it is NOT you. If it is going to be you, then make sure you follow these Brown Nosing Tips:

Brown Nosing Tip 1: COMPLIMENT your boss, sincerely, of course. Tell them you like the clothing they wear. Even better, compliment them on their massive brain power. Make sure they know you think he/she is a genius.

UFO Recession Tip 9 - Bring Lunch to Work

Bring your Energy Refueling Packet (lunch) to work in a bag. And to save more, use a reusable lunch box! You will save money and be green (like me)!

During recession or depression times, taking your Earthling boss to lunch just is not going to cut it because your boss is too busy brown-nosing their own boss. Eat at the office, preferably while continuing to work, or better yet, eat during a company cost-saving committee meeting which you organized (big brownie points).

Bringing your lunch to work is cheaper than going out to a restaurant, saves gas and reduces pollution. If you are an intelligent being, you will bring a healthy sandwich.

Lunch box leads to company commitment leads to saving money leads to a healthier bod.

Recession Tip 6 - Get a 2nd Job

If you cannot control your budget or you are in major debt, but you cannot get a raise at your current Earthling job, get a second job. The best place to start is Starbucks because their time schedule is flexible and they have good health benefits, even for part-time humans. They also pay fairly.

It is also a great way to reduce your Starbucks expenses since you will be able to drink coffee for free and those cappuccinos and lattes add up at over $4 per drink. You might even be able to meet a new love there if you are single, which will enable you to have free entertainment (Please see UFO Recession Tip #2 - Have more Sex), which enable you to cut down on going to theater or bars. You will also get Starbucks employee discounts, enabling you to take your new girlfriend to Starbucks for a Starbucks date.

Starbucks is taking over the Earth so job security as a part-time barista looks promising. We hear that our planet has been having secret talks with Howard Shulz (Founder and CEO of Starbucks) to expand Starbucks stores into our galaxy, which might enable you to travel the Universe as a Starbucks barista.

So make sure that if you work at Starbucks as a barista that you learn your craft well because you never know when you will be called upon for that galactic expansion of stores.

UFO Recession Tip 73 - Top 10 Blogger Recession Tips to Make Money

Earthling, blogging is a highly enjoyable way to pass the time until we figure out how to fix our saucy saucer for intergalactic travel. We are highly intelligent, super-smart beings and we are one million years more advanced than you... but we do not hold that against you. We love Earthlings! We are happy to help you by offering tips on how to survive your economic recession.

We are marooned on this beautiful planet thanks to Bubba from Stephenville, Texas shooting us down. Do not be frightened of us. We only want to help you not be a Didiot. Blogging is the most efficient way for us to communicate with as many humans as possible.  We also offer green tips on how to save you planet from Earthlings.

ItsthePlanetDidiot.com - Green tips to save planet Earth from Earthlings
ZorkPlanet.com - Intergalactic VIP Lounge for green social network.

Competition is stiff. There are over 112 million blogs listed on Technorati at the end of 2007!    We see you and we know that not every blogger is making money.

Google makes hordes of money from bloggers using Adsense. In order to set the injustice straight, we offer 10 Blogger Recession Tips to Make Money.

Blogger Money-Making Scheme 1 - Bill Collector: As you build your blogging empire, working day and night, consider supplementing your income by simultaneously working part time job as a bill collector. The bill collection industry is going gang busters because there are so many good humans behind with their bills.

If you are one of the millions of bloggers, you may be behind on your bills and have bill collectors calling you, demanding money. If you can't beat them, join them. You can be on the phone collecting and write your blog at the same time. Multi-task, my dear Earthling.

Blogger Money-Making Scheme 2 - Baby Sitter: It is easy to blog while babysitting young humans. Blog while they nap, teach the kids to drop EntreCards for you. You can blog about baby sitting while you blog. One full circle of blogging.

Blogger Money-Making Scheme 3 - Dog Sitter and/or Dog Walker: You can double the money by taking care of animals such as dogs as you babysit and blog. The kids can help with the pets. Take pictures of the pets and blog about them. We particularly love Holy Cuteness web site. Please visit it for some cute entertainment.