It's the Recession, Didiot!

UFO Recession Tip 27 - Earthling, Ride a Vespa and Save Planet Earth

Earthlings around your planet are conveying themselves happily from one point to another on motor bikes and scooters. One country doesn't ride them enough. That is America. American Earthlings prefer to drive enormous, gas-guzzling trucks or what they call SUVs.

It's the Recession, Stupid. If own a car but really do not need it, trade it in for a motorcycle or scooter. Do you truly have a need for a pickup truck? Do you really need a giant SUV, other than to be a road-bully? Motorcycles are fun and cool. We fell in love with motorcycles after we saw Fonzie on television riding one. If you don't know who Fonzie is, then you are not from planet Earth.

We love the Vespa. The Vespa Granturismo 200 (see picture below) is comfortable on our alien behinds. It is not what Fonzie would ride, but we don't care for speed. We care about our comfort and saving money on gasoline.

VESPA is at www.vespausa.com

If you currently own two cars, trade one in for a beautiful Vespa. You will get rid of a car payment, reduce your auto insurance, cost of maintenance, and get a much better gas mileage. This will enable you to ride through the recession with ease.

Earthling women find motorcycles sexy. But do not take her out on the motorcycle for a fancy date when she is

UFO Recession Tip 26 - Learn How to Cook

During recession, cook your own meals at home. You can save big money by learning how to cook. If you have a mate, plan romantic dinners at home. Why pay $100 to $200 for a dinner at some noisy, impersonal restaurant when you can do it for 20% of the cost, and that includes the wine.

The benefit of cooking at home is that if you happen to get way too romantic during and after dinner, you can walk straight to the bedroom and have dessert. Also, you can pick the music and get second helpings on whatever you like.

Learn to cook online or how to grill outdoors. Learning how to cook is not as hard as Earthlings think. Yes, some people are better at it than others but you can also learn how to grill outside. Grilling outside is not hard. Try it.

We are going to be providing you with recipes that will enable you to cook breakfast, lunch and dinner under different price ranges of $10, $20 and $30 per day. You don't think it's possible? Well, we managed to get to Planet Earth on a very cheap food budget.

For starters, here are 3 cheap and quick things you can prepare for breakfast.

1. Cereal: you can have a very cheap breakfast by eating cereal. It took us a little while to get used to eating cereal but we are now used to it and we think it is yummy.

UFO Recession Tip 25 - The End of Health Clubs

We see humans at sports clubs working out on silly, willy machines. At first we thought these Earthlings were gym rats. Now we realize many Earthlings go to health clubs to find mates so that they can have sex, which is even more fun exercise.

Paying $50 or $75 a month for a health club during a recession makes you a DIDIOT. When we came to planet Earth, we joined a health club too. But we soon realized you can actually get an excellent work out for free at home.

Our gym fees were a waste of money, especially when we started going less and less after our New Years health resolutions waned.

We now save money by exercising at our dwelling. We don't have all those machines at our disposal, but we've managed to look lean and fit. The exercises we do are ones you can do anywhere. We have even adopted some of those exercises to do during our sexual pleasure moments.

Here are 9 exercises any Earthling can do without spending money. All you need is your body and the Earth's gravity:

UFO Recession Tip 24 - Learn to Knit

We want to thank you, Humans. We have never knitted before because, on our planet, most everyone wears the same outfit. Knitting has helped Meera and I find our inner self of creativity. Our relationship has become closer because we have spent time together knitting instead of watching television.

Knitting allows you to be creative and save lots of money on fashion clothes. Instead of going to Needless Markup (Neiman Marcus), knit your own clothes. Take the money you would have spent at the store and use it to pay off your debt during the recession.

Throw knitting parties. We have held knitting parties with Earthlings, which have allowed us to bond with you humans