It's the Recession, Didiot!

UFO Recession Tip 62 - The Great Popcorn Rip-off

Earthlings, we have discovered many humans are being ripped off every single day by popcorn conglomerates.

When you purchase pre-packaged microwave popcorn your paying for the cardboard box, cellophane wrapping and the paper bag of popcorn packed with unnecessary and unhealthy chemicals and fat. We think your really want only the popcorn.

Popcorn is a healthy snack! Do not ruin it by eating pre-packaged microwave popcorn with 10 extra chemical ingredients.

Pre-packaged microwave popcorn is fattening, unhealthy, ungreen and expensive. The only ingredient is the popcorn. Stop being Didiots! Do not throw your money away on silly willy fancy popcorn, especially during recession!

Recession Tip 74 - Wheatgrass: The Perfect Recession-proof Food

Earthlings, we have discovered a perfect food that costs almost nothing to grow yourself at home. It is a healthy power boost to the human body for energy and superior health. Drink this superfood to operate your body more effectively for longer period of time, save money on doctor's visits and be green like us.

This magic, green food goes by the simple name of WHEATGRASS. Here are 10 stellar reasons to thoroughly enjoy drinking this delightfully green nectar:

Reason 1: Wheatgrass is super healthy. Earthlings, there is no need to be a hypochondriac anymore. This green leafy, vegetable food contains 13 vitamins, several antioxidants and many minerals and enzymes. These nutrients are absorbed by the body in 20 minutes. Wheatgrass helps the human body overcome many types of illnesses so there is no need to imagine being sick again. If any Earthling complains about their health again, just feed them some wheat grass and tell them to stop wasting money on doctor visits.

Reason 2: Wheatgrass is low calorie. We do not understand why so many humans are overweight. This is not logical. Why be over weight when you can be healthy? Yes, many low cost foods are not healthy. However, wheatgrass contains only 10 to 15 calories per teaspoon, and no fat or cholesterol. This will enable you to keep your body lean and mean for those pleasurable physical activities.

UFO Recession Tip 70 - 10 Easy Ways to Lower Electricity Bills

Earthling, it is very simple to lower your electricity bills during recession. Here are 10 easy ways you can be GREEN like us and save money:

Tip 1: Adjust Your Thermostat by 4 Degrees
This is Didiot-proof. Human, you do not need a college degree to effectively operate a thermostat. Simply set your thermostat to four degrees lower in the winter, and four degrees higher in the summer. Most people in your dwelling will not notice the difference. This simple trick can save you a whopping $40 a month on your electric bill. During hours when nobody is home, lower it up or down by an additional 5 or 10 degrees to double your savings.

Tip 2: Turn Off that Light!
Simply turn off lights when you leave a room for longer than 30 seconds. We hope you are not one of those lazy Earthlings who make a big deal of lifting their small finger to push the light lever down.

UFO Recession Tip 72 - Save Money, Stop Using Shampoo

Why do Earthlings spend so much on maintaining their hair? Maybe because we aliens do not have hair, we will never understand. Shampoo puts unhealthy chemicals on your head, next to your brain. This seems to us like a Didiot thing to do. The planet Earth offers a way to naturally and cheaply clean your hair. 

Beautiful, shiny hair for pennies. We scoured the planet and found a group of humans with beautiful hair for cheap! They simply use apple cider vinegar and baking soda. You can simply clean you hair and it will look great without any extra styling products. We suggest you go to your pantry and try it as soon as you finish reading this article.