It's the Recession, Didiot!

UFO Recession Tip 86: Recession is Good for the Environment

Earthlings, since the moment we crashed on your planet we warned you, we told you and some of you listened. The world is in a global recession. Now you finally get it.

A year ago, we were zipping through the solar system. We were on our way to Meera’s cousin’s wedding in another sector of the galaxy, when we decided to show our son Zorkey a close view of the beautiful blue planet Earth. Close it was. We were shot down over Stephenville, Texas by Bubba. Because Bubba damaged our intergalactic power booster, we have become entrepreneur bloggers, trying to earn enough money to fix our damaged saucy saucer.

We observed humans living it up last year. They were living large, spending like there was no tomorrow. We began writing about America and the rest of the planet going into recession. We are an intelligent species, one million times smarter than you, but we cannot understand how governments on this planet did not see it coming. We are not conspiracy theorists but find it odd that nearly one year later, Earthling American government finally admitted that United States and the entire Earth is going deep into recession. What were they hiding?

Human, recession is good for the green movement.

We scratch our heads at the economic theories which drive your economy. Earthlings, we have traveled the galaxy for millions of years, and have observed these economic principles on backward-type planets across the galaxy. The economics on your planet are based on consumption and more consumption.

UFO Recession Tip 77 - Why We Love Pawn Shops

Earthling, do not be frightened of pawn shops. They might be your best friend during recession. At pawn shops you can purchase many kinds of useful things at bargain prices, sell your old junk for fast cash or get a loan against it. Remember, buying used is also green!

Not every pawn shop has a seedy, toothless character waiting behind the counter to take advantage of you. Pawn shop owners and employees are Earthlings too.

Earthling, we arrived without any of your planet's money after we were shot down by Bubba in Stephenville, Texas. So we pawned Meera's huge diamond ring.  We used part of the money to move to Los Angeles because in the city of angels, we thought we could fit in just fine. We were so right.

The other part of the loan from the pawn shop is being used to repair our saucer's Intergalactic Energy Power Booster so we can make it on time to our cousin's wedding. We only have 356 years to get there. It is going to be very close. We have to

UFO Recession Tip 83 - Be a Turtle Buyer

Earthling, we love turtles. They are cute, and much can be learned from observing them. Some of them live for a long time.

Turtles are slow, and many humans make fun of them for that. We heard the story of the “Turtle and the Hare.” The moral of that story applies to what your human financial gurus call “personal finance.”

No need to watch Susie Orr on Earth’s CNBC television network for sound financial advice. Personal finance is simple. We are a highly intelligent species (sorry to remind you of this once again), and we have the most revolutionary way for you to become financially sound-proof during this tough economic environment.

The secret we are about to give you will revolutionize your ability to make money, save money and live a happy and rich life. This secret is so profound it will change your forever. The secret has been confirmed by successful men and women of all ages, races and cultures.

Recession Tip 73 - Top 10 Blogger Recession Tips to Make Money

Earthling, blogging is a highly enjoyable way to pass the time until we figure out how to fix our saucy saucer for intergalactic travel. We are highly intelligent, super-smart beings and we are one million years more advanced than you... but we do not hold that against you. We love Earthlings! We are happy to help you by offering tips on how to survive your economic recession.

We are marooned on this beautiful planet thanks to Bubba from Stephenville, Texas shooting us down. Do not be frightened of us. We only want to help you not be a Didiot. Blogging is the most efficient way for us to communicate with as many humans as possible.  We also offer green tips on how to save you planet from Earthlings.

ItsthePlanetDidiot.com - Green tips to save planet Earth from Earthlings
ZorkPlanet.com - Intergalactic VIP Lounge for green social network.

Competition is stiff. There are over 112 million blogs listed on Technorati at the end of 2007!    We see you and we know that not every blogger is making money.

Google makes hordes of money from bloggers using Adsense. In order to set the injustice straight, we offer 10 Blogger Recession Tips to Make Money.

Blogger Money-Making Scheme 1 - Bill Collector: As you build your blogging empire, working day and night, consider supplementing your income by simultaneously working part time job as a bill collector. The bill collection industry is going gang busters because there are so many good humans behind with their bills.

If you are one of the millions of bloggers, you may be behind on your bills and have bill collectors calling you, demanding money. If you can't beat them, join them. You can be on the phone collecting and write your blog at the same time. Multi-task, my dear Earthling.

Blogger Money-Making Scheme 2 - Baby Sitter: It is easy to blog while babysitting young humans. Blog while they nap, teach the kids to drop EntreCards for you. You can blog about baby sitting while you blog. One full circle of blogging.

Blogger Money-Making Scheme 3 - Dog Sitter and/or Dog Walker: You can double the money by taking care of animals such as dogs as you babysit and blog. The kids can help with the pets. Take pictures of the pets and blog about them. We particularly love Holy Cuteness web site. Please visit it for some cute entertainment.